Making Your Birthday a Self-Empowering Experience

Happy Birthday

Each month we’re celebrating someone’s birthday, if it is your birthday this month, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! If it isn’t, your month will be here before you know it.

“Your birthday is the beginning of your own personal new year. Your first birthday was a beginning, and each new birthday is a chance to begin again, to start over, to take a new grip on life.” __ Wilfred Peterson

I believe birthdays are special and are to be acknowledged and celebrated.  They don’t have to be about expensive dinners, exotic trips or elaborate gifts. No matter what birthday you are celebrating, whether you are in your teens, turning 21, hitting 30, approaching 50, getting sassy in your 70’s, reaching 80’s, 90’s and beyond, consider this…….there are people that never made it to your age. You have friends and/or relatives that never celebrated the birthday you get to celebrate.  My good friend, Dessie, never made it. My cousins, Debbie, Diane, Rita, Irene, and Clarence never made it to my age.  Wow, how sobering.  I mention this not to make you sad, but, to encourage you to reflect on your gift of life.

“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” __ George Meredith

Each birthday is a blessing and awesome gift in itself. The older I get the longer my husband and I celebrate. We use to celebrate the day, then a weekend, advanced to a week, and we have reached the point where we now celebrate an entire birthday month.  I love it! How is that for acknowledging our gift of life?

You are probably asking, “What do you do to celebrate for an entire month?” It takes imagination and frequently telling the person, Happy Birthday during the month. This year, we enjoyed a great birthday month for my husband.  The month started with a surprise jazz weekend get-a-way, our friends met us at the event and shocked him with his favorite cake topped off with glowing candles for him to blow out. We had multiple dinner dates with friends at surprise locations. Each time we went out to eat during his birthday month, the restaurant staff sang Happy Birthday. The Italian restaurant sang in Italian and the Mexican restaurant sang in Spanish. The bonus was a yummy dessert with a candle.

Birthdays can be an empowering experience. By taking the path of self-empowered birthdays, we can push back against the loss of purpose that too often comes as our years advance.

What Are Self-Empowered Birthdays?

A Self-empowered birthday means taking control of one’s life, learning, updating and improving skills, taking risks, building confidence, assuming power over personal circumstances, and developing the resilience to overcome inevitable challenges to come. Self-empowered birthdays improve your odds to accomplish life goals that others may discount, and to enjoy self-esteem and satisfaction that others may lack.

“It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had.” __Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The positive self-perception of birthdays that can flow from self-empowerment may actually save lives. An article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reported that individuals with more positive self-perceptions of aging outlived those with less positive self-perceptions of aging by seven and a half years.

There are many roads to self-empowerment, depending upon an individual’s personal goals, beliefs, and values. Here are just a few……LIVE

Live a Life of Learning

Lifelong learning should be a personal commitment for us all. Whether learning takes place in a classroom or online, it stimulates, engages, and empowers. It increases knowledge and refreshes skills. Education enhances confidence. It presents new challenges and goals. It provides an information base and a new relationship network from which to advance a current career, pursue a new career, or begin an entrepreneurial venture.

Live Your Dream, Take More Risks

Make your dreams a reality. Start your own business, go back to school or seek a new career, etc. Entrepreneurship may not be for everyone, but increased experience, perspective, and problem-solving skills that comes with each birthday enhances your chances of success.

Live a Life with Flexibility

The person with the most flexibility will have more choices in life. Having a choice is better than no choice and more choices are certainly better than less choices. Similarly, if what you are doing is not working, you need to do something else. This highlights the need to change your behavior and do something else, again and again if need be, until your desired outcome is achieved.

Live a Life with Humor

With the confidence that comes from self-empowerment and the experience to know that all paths in life have twists and turns, we all need to take the opportunities presented by birthdays seriously. At the same time, we must try to maintain perspective and a sense of humor, even in the face of frustration and fear.

Appreciate that longer lives are a great gift. Past generations would be awestruck by the extent of our longevity and the possibilities. Embrace with gratitude the experience each birthday brings and the challenge of taking on each through self-empowerment.

“Life isn’t about your age. Life is about living. So when your birthday comes be thankful for the year that has just past and anticipate with a happy heart what the coming year will bring.” __Catherine Pulsifer

A Dynamic and engaging speaker, Dr. Myra Hubbard is available for Presentations, Conferences, Retreats, Training, and Consulting engagements. She can be reached at or 707-481-2268.



Tenacity: Hang in There, Never Give Up!


Have you been told, “hang in there”, “never give up”, “stick to it”, or “keep on going”?  When you are struggling, people may say these well-meaning words of encouragement.  Most people will tell you that tenacity is a great quality to have, especially if you’re trying something new and challenging that takes a while to complete.

Odds are, the people you admire have shown real tenacity in achieving their goals. Anything really worth doing takes persistence, perseverance, and stubborn determination. Being an accomplished writer requires real gifts, no doubt, but even the most gifted writer won’t make it to the best seller list without the tenacity required to make the long, hard journey from struggling to write the first few sentences, paragraphs, pages, chapters and progressing to writing entire books.

Tenacity is the quality displayed by someone who just won’t quit — who keeps trying until they reach their goal. Tenacity is more important than the degree of talent you have. You can learn anything, accomplish anything, if you’re tenacious enough, if you’re willing to hang in there long enough, willing to do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes.

Are you? If not, let me tell you about a woman by the name of Ida Keeling, perhaps she will inspire you as she has me. Ida Keeling was having a difficult time dealing with major losses in her life. Her husband passed away some years ago and both of her sons died tragically. She felt the pain of losing her sons was just too much to bear. Her daughter, Cheryl was worried about her, the smile had left Ida’s face and the light inside of her seemed to have gone off.

Cheryl owned a fitness business and often ran in races. She decided to ask her mother to attend a cross-country race with her held in Brooklyn, New York, not as a spectator but to actually run 3.1 miles.  Reluctantly, Ida, finally agreed.  I need to tell you that at this time Ida was 67 years old running in her very first race. Does this sound impressive?  It gets better.

Ida is 103 years old, born May 15, 1915! Yes, and she now holds Masters records in 60 meter and 100 meter distances for women in the 95-99 and 100-plus age groups.   Ida set the fastest known time by a 99-year-old woman for the 100 -meter dash at 59.80.

On April 30, 2016, Ida became the first woman in history to complete a 100-meter run at the age of 100. Her time of 1:17.33, was the best ever recorded in the 100-meter dash for any female age 100 or older.

On July 17, 2018, Ida appeared on TV and received an honorary Excellence in Sports Performance Yearly Award. The ESPY honors the top athletes every year, and now 103-year-old Ida Keeling is one of them.

Tenacity is about a mindset and approach to maintaining the momentum needed to accomplish what you want in life and then the cycle continues, completing one race at a time and continuing to practice skill building on a continuous basis, like Ida.

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra




Celebrating Women: International Women’s Day


Women's Day

Did you know we have an International Women’s Day?  Are you curious how long it has been in existence and what does it all mean to us?  While it’s an internationally recognized celebration, you still may have some questions about what it means and why we celebrate.  You are not alone if this is the case.

International Women’s Day was founded more than one hundred years ago!  Yes, since the early 1900’s after thousands of women marched in New York to demand better working conditions and for the right to vote.  There were over 15,000 women participating in this march.  International Women’s Day was officially adopted by the United Nations in 1975. Fast forward to today and March 8 is the global celebration of women’s social, economic, and political achievements and to advocate for gender equality. International Women’s Day is all about Unity, Celebration, Reflection, Advocacy and Empowerment.

Why Purple?

Different holidays, events, organizations, and celebrations use color to highlight and bring attention to their existence and significance. Purple is the official color used to symbolize International Women’s Day.    In recent years, women have relied on clothing color as a symbol of celebrating the empowerment of women.  Historically, purple signifies justice and dignity. Internationally, it has become a color symbolizing the celebration of International Women’s Day.

The use of color can be what is called an Anchor.  Anchoring is an empowerment technique that uses a stimulus; it may be a color, a sound, an image, a touch, smell or a taste to trigger a consistent response in you. We will discuss Anchors in more detail in another blog because they can be a very powerful self-empowerment tool you can use strategically.

We don’t have to wait to celebrate ourselves one day a year, celebrate yourself every day, and continue to elevate yourself as you practice skills of self-empowerment.

Tres Amigas (3 Friends): 10 Benefits of Investing in Friendship


TapIN Logo


Have you ever experienced a day like this?  You and your BFF (Best Friends Forever) or in this case BFFs haven’t seen each other for a couple of months.  Everyone has been so busy with “life”, you know from experience that friendships can take a back seat to other priorities and commitments, such as work and family.  You have been texting back and forth to keep in touch and finally schedule a face-to-face “meet-up” together.  One of you identifies a movie to see, another finds an inexpensive place to eat, and the third suggests going to a coffee shop to cap off the evening.

You find a spot to chat in the coffee shop.  You share pictures, update each other on what’s happening in each other’s lives and before you know it, you hear, “Excuse me ladies, we hate to interrupt, but, we are closing.”  You didn’t notice, one person had a broom in his hand, they had cleaned the coffee equipment and it looked like they were finished cleaning up the entire shop. The three of you friends, Tres Amigas, were the only people left.

Networks of Support

What happened to the time?  Why didn’t you notice the things happening around you?  Here is my take on what was going on….

You were TAPPED IN to a key component of your Network of Support. In my TAP IN model above, the N stands for Network of Support, and SOCIAL is one of the 5 key networks to Develop, Cultivate and Maintain. It is not the quantity of friends you have in the Social network, it is the QUALITY of friendships you have in your life.

What are the benefits of friendships?

According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being and play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Individuals with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression and high blood pressure. Studies have even found that older people with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers that do not have quality friendships.

Friends can:

  1. Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
  2. Provide support when you try new things
  3. Encourage you to follow your Passion and achieve your Goals
  4. Help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times
  5. Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
  6. Prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship
  7. Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
  8. Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
  9. Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
  10. Make you laugh and encourage you to have fun


The Investment

Many of us find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up with existing ones. Developing and maintaining quality friendships takes time and effort. The enjoyment and support friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile.

As I mentioned earlier, quality counts more than quantity. While it’s good to cultivate a diverse network of people in your life, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends, amigas, who will be there for you through the test of time.

Let me hear about your supportive friendships, I am always interested in your thoughts.

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra


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Navigating the Mall

Personal Success Image 53
You Are Here! You can go in different directions, but, which one should you take?

It’s mid-January and no doubt you have received many messages about setting goals, getting focused, pursuing your dreams, visioning, and achieving personal and financial success.  Personally, I’m excited about the support systems we all have available to us and the possibilities we have moving forward in 2018.  It can be overwhelming because you want to do “it” all. Everyone has something to offer, yet you need a clear practical path to make an effective empowering decision.

It is like the map in the mall that has a red dot indicating, YOU ARE HERE.  You can go in many directions and each might lead to shopping bags full of bargains and attractive stuff, but, did you get what you want? Did you make a list before you entered the mall?  Have you been there and done that?

I am excited to have you a part of our TAP IN community. I want to be a part of your support network in 2018, helping you to navigate the map in the mall, chunking down the “I want it all” into manageable pieces.

Starting with a VISION, here are eight (8) critical actions you can take to help your decision making:

Step 1:  Clearly articulate what you want.

Step 2: Identify how you will know that you have “it”.

Step 3: Determine where, when, and whom you want “it”.

Step 4:  What will happen when you get “it”?

Step 5:  What resources do you currently have and need to get what you want? Such as identifying People, Organizations, Associations and Processes that resonate with you, your Values, Beliefs, and Goals.

Step 6: What stops you from having “it” now?

Step 7: What will having “it” do for you?

Step 8:  What will be your first significant empowering action step to keep you on track in 2018?

Like others, we also have resources to add to your Empowerment and Personal Success toolbox to enhance your ability to create skill-building choices.

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Let me hear from you, I am always interested in your thoughts.

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra

Happy New Year!




Happy New Year My TAP IN Friends!

I hope you had a great holiday season.  Can you believe it is now 2018? I am excited, there are so many things I want to accomplish this year and a lot I want to share with you.

It’s that time of year where we look-back and reflect on the year that just past but also look-ahead at what we want to accomplish in the new year.

As you think about what you accomplished last year, ask yourself, ‘How did I do, did I reach the goals I set for myself ‘? Making the most of this new year will require tenacity and determination. As you plan your goals for 2018, I encourage you to consider a robust focus on self-empowerment and on-going learning.

There’s no reason why this year can’t be your best year yet; make the most of it by attending our self-empowerment workshops, webinars and events designed to help you gain new knowledge and skills which in-turn help you accomplish your goals and ambitions.

Stay connected with us.  Look out for my blogs, schedule of events and learn about resources throughout the year.

I wish you all the best this year.  Let’s Declare 2018 the Year of Self-Empowerment!

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”   Dr. Myra









This Week’s TAP-IN Quote: “Success is Not Final, Failure is not Fatal: It is the Courage to Continue that Counts”

  • Quotation Marks

Hello My TAP-IN Friends!

Don’t you love quotes?  They say so much with a few words. They can have different meanings for different people.  I like the way they make me stop and think, if only for a moment. This quote supports the notion of T for TENACITY in our TAP-IN model.  We will talk more about TENACITY and how you can build that muscle in the weeks ahead.  TENACITY means you have determination and endurance….you don’t TAP-OUT when things get difficult.

Our thanks to Winston Churchill for this week’s quote.

Let me hear from you, I am interested in your thoughts. What’s your TENACITY TAP-IN story?

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”   Dr. Myra



What If You Didn’t Get the Job?

Waiting to be interviewed

You were excited after hearing about the job opening.  You talked to your family and friends about this career opportunity, you researched the company, you prepared for the interview, you practiced your responses to possible questions, and dressed for success. You know you have the experience they are looking for and meet all the qualifications written in the announcement.  You are invited for a second interview and tell yourself, “I got this!”  You feel pretty confident that you will hear back from them soon with good news.

Two days later, you get the call, you didn’t get the job.  What happen? What do you do now?  Here are five action steps you can take to stay “TAPPED IN” and turn your disappointing situation around:

  1. Feedback: Timing is important. This step is better to do right at the time when you receive the call to let you know you didn’t get the job. Tell them you are always looking for ways to improve and develop. Ask if they are willing to provide you with feedback regarding how you could improve as a candidate. What were their observations?  Given that you thought “I got this”, it would be important to get another person’s perspective. Don’t put them on the spot or ask them to justify their decision, you only want to learn from the situation and appreciate their willingness to provide you with the gift of feedback.
  2. Follow-up: Send a Thank You Note expressing your gratitude for being considered and your understanding of how difficult it is to make hiring decisions. Address the note to the person(s) most involved in the process. You never know, the person they hired may not work out or may not stay in the position and you may be the next in line for consideration if you left a good impression. Don’t burn bridges, you want to keep the doors open.
  3. Self-Reflection: Thinking and writing about your experience can be educational and emotionally healing. Take time to think about the total experience, then write down your responses to the following questions:
  • What did you do well, before and during the interview?
  • Were there questions asked you should have been better prepared to answer?
  • What did you personally learn from the process?
  • What did you learn about yourself and others?
  • Taken into consideration the feedback you were able to receive in step one, what could or will you do differently next time?

4. Job-Reflection: No job is perfect, now take time to think about the job you didn’t get. Divide a sheet of paper into two columns. Under the column on the left, list the things you were looking forward to that you particularly liked about the job. Under the column on the right, list those things that concerned you about actually getting the job. Be honest with yourself when you complete this task.  Don’t forget to identify the “must haves” you want your next job to have, were any of those missing? This will help you get clear on what is important to you as you continue with your job search.

5. Continue your Job-Search. It’s always disheartening when you don’t get the job.  If you are actively applying for jobs, rejection is nearly inevitable, we have all been there.  Even if you don’t get a job offer, there was a benefit to getting this far in the entire process.  You learned some things and have identified the changes you want to make going forward.

These action steps should help you to bounce back and remain “TAPPED IN”, I am convinced there is a job out there for you.  Remember, there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Use the lessons learned to course correct, don’t let this situation stop you in your tracks.