Stepping into fear can be a difficult and uncomfortable experience, but it is also one of the most powerful ways to achieve self-empowerment. By facing our fears head on, we are able to overcome them and gain a sense of control over our lives. The benefits of stepping into fear are many, such as:
INCREASED SELF-CONFIDENCE: When we are able to face our fears and overcome them, we build a sense of trust in ourselves and our abilities. This trust in ourselves allows us to take on new challenges and opportunities with a sense of courage and determination. Additionally, as we become more confident in our ability to handle difficult situations, we become more resilient and better equipped to handle the stress and uncertainty of life.
IMPROVED RELATIONS: When we are able to confront our fears, we are able to communicate more effectively and build stronger connections with others. We are also able to set healthy boundaries and establish clear expectations for how we want to be treated by others. This helps to build trust and respect in our relationships, which in turn leads to greater satisfaction and fulfillment.
ACHIEVING GOALS: When we are able to confront our fears and overcome them, we are able to take action towards our goals with a sense of purpose and determination. Additionally, by facing our fears, we are able to identify and eliminate the limiting beliefs and self-doubt that may have been holding us back.
ACTIONS YOU CAN TAKE
WHAT: To step into fear, it’s important to first identify what you’re afraid of.
WHY: Once you’ve identified your fear, try to understand the underlying reasons why you’re afraid of it. This can help you to see that your fear is not as irrational as it may seem and that it’s possible to overcome it.
WORST-CASE: Imagine yourself facing your fear and imagine the worst-case scenario. This may help you to see that the worst-case scenario is not as bad as you may have imagined.
SMALL STEPS: Take small steps towards facing your fear. It’s important to take baby steps and not to put too much pressure on yourself. You may not be able to overcome your fear overnight, but by consistently taking small steps towards facing it, you will eventually be able to conquer it.
DO “IT” IN SPITE OF THE FEAR: When you step into fear and do the thing that makes you paralyzed and afraid, you will feel so proud of yourself. Once you have real-time evidence of what you can accomplish even when you are fearful, you will be more willing to take on the next challenge and crush it.
You got this! Remember, stepping into fear can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is also one of the most powerful ways to achieve self-empowerment. By facing our fears head on….I know you are probably shaking just thinking of doing that…but when we face them, we are able to overcome them, plus gain confidence and a sense of control over our lives.
It’s not the fear that makes us weak, but how we react to it that makes us stronger.
March 8th is International Women’s Day; however, every day presents a new opportunity for us to feel empowered. Throughout Women’s History Month, we make the point to celebrate women, their contributions, and successes.
What does success mean to you when you think of being a self-empowered woman? Of course, it can change, so what does it mean to you TODAY? Boosting your ability to take control and have a more self-empowered approach to life requires having a strategy and being tenacious about getting what you want or need.
Here are actions and questions to respond to that can help you release limits you may have placed on yourself which can move your Self-Empowerment needle in a profound way.
*EXPLORE
Exploration and awareness are the first step on a journey to enhanced self-empowerment. It includes identifying your talents, strengths, opportunities, and challenges to provide a pathway toward growth and discovery of your “Superpower”, your unique talents. The more you identify your uniqueness, the more you will be able to build on them with intention.
“There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.” -Michelle Obama
Exploration Questions: Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses.
What do you want and why do you want it? (Be specific in responding.)
Be honest with yourself, where are you right now in your life? Are you where you want to be, doing what you want to do?
What’s painful to deal with, what provides you with pleasure?
What is a story or situation you carry around in your head that doesn’t serve you well but is repeated over and over? How can you reframe the story in a way that serves you in a more powerful way?
What are 3 skills do you have that makes you successful at what you do? These are unique abilities you have learned through trial and error, mistakes, and accomplishments.
*ENVISION
When you Believe it, you can Envision it and What you envision, you can Achieve! There is power in imagining your future self and visualizing what you desire becoming a reality. When you believe and envision what will be, it helps you create and make an action plan for success.
“My best successes came on the heels of failures.” -Barbara Corcoran
Envisioning Questions: Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses.
If this was the best year ever, what would it be like? What would be different?
How would you complete the following statement? “I will know I am successful when ______________________?” (List at least 3 responses)
*EXECUTE
Before you can execute, you must have clarity. Determine what you need to do to move the needle from where you are currently to where you want to be. Take specific, courageous, and uncomfortable actions that create forward movement to execute your self-empowerment goals. Take note of the goals you’re aiming for and the reason they are important to you.
Execution Questions: Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses.
What is the number one thing that has been holding you back from being the woman you want to be? (This is a key question to address because it helps you develop a plan of action.)
What actions have you taken or plan to take that gets you closer to reaching your goals?
What additional capabilities do you need to master to get from where you are in life to where you want to go?
*EVALUATE
Analyze what you can learn from what didn’t work. Assessing the results of your actions and behaviors taken to reach your goals is an important and useful exercise to learn what you need to do differently. Take time to daily reflect on the plans you have executed.
Evaluation Questions: Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses.
What hasn’t worked for you during the past year or two…. or longer?
What thoughts dominated your thinking during the past year or two? It is time to get rid of those thoughts that are not serving you well in being self-empowered.
What has been working for you? Build on what is working.
*EVOLVE
Reflection Questions: Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses.
What are 2-3 things you are grateful for this week?
What challenged you?
How did you support other women?
What could you have done differently?
What did you learn about myself?
*ENJOY & CELEBRATE
Oftentimes we don’t stop to pat ourselves on the back. It is important to celebrate your success and accomplishments. It will help to keep your spirits high throughout any minor mishaps you encounter.
The key is to celebrate progress you are making along the way to accomplishing your goals. Every time you accomplish a milestone, do something to recognize and enjoy the progress you are making.
Acknowledge and track your achievements so that you can remember them and tap into those resources when you feel down and need encouragement.
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” -Maya Angelou
Maintain a Self-Empowering Mindset
Develop a self-empowering phrase that you can tap into to help you get through the tough times, such as “I am strong and can accomplish anything I set my mind to and crush it!” or “I Got This!”. Place this phrase on your wall, on your desk, in your phone, or wherever you want a visual reminder of how awesome you are.
“And so, lifting as we climb, onward and upward we go, struggling and striving, and hoping that the buds and blossoms of our desires will burst into glorious fruition ‘ere long.”– Mary Church Terrell
LIFT AS YOU CLIMB
The path you are on is not a solitary journey. Support other women colleagues by helping them receive recognition for the things they are particularly skilled at and their accomplishments.
Lastly, it is not about being perfect, enjoy the process while you are figuring things out. Enjoying the self-empowerment journey is more important than obsessing over whether you’re perfect. Concentrate on being perfectly you!
“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”
Dr. Myra
A Dynamic and engaging speaker, Dr. Myra Hubbard is available for Presentations, Conferences, Retreats, Training, and Consulting engagements. She can be reached at tapin2success.com or (707) 481-2268.
As we spring forward again into a new season, we take time to celebrate International Women’s Day (IWD).
“My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” __ Sara Blakely
What Are You Thinking?
We can’t live a self-empowered life if we constantly allow negative and unproductive thoughts to monopolize our thinking. Soldiers don’t look for their weapons when the bullets are flying all around them. They are prepared ahead of time and have their heads on “swivel” to anticipate what’s ahead. Self-empowerment includes putting our minds to capture and control thoughts that hold us back instead of engaging in negative thoughts. We must continually be filling our minds with things that bring light into our lives. When we look for the good, we will find it. When we focus on the bad, we will find that also.
Reframing Negative Thoughts
What kind of reframing does your mind need? Do you find yourself fixated on the things that are going wrong or could go wrong in your life? Do you feel overwhelmed and defeated by how you view the direction your life is taking? With all the challenging things happening to women particularly at this moment in time, it is easy to focus on the glass being half empty.
“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” ― Germany Kent
Whether we usually have a positive outlook on life or we struggle holding things together every day with what our minds obsess over, we can all benefit from some guidance when it comes to our thoughts. While we will never be able to adjust every thought that enters our minds throughout the day, we can certainly work on reframing toxic thinking that is depleting our energy, causing inner turmoil, and getting in the way of us being at our best authentic self. We want to spend our mental energy on the thoughts that build us up instead of tearing us down.
What is True or False?
Many false self-perceptions and toxic thoughts are too deeply rooted to be corrected with positive self-talk alone. We must identify the falsehoods that control our thoughts in order to reset our mindsets if lasting change is to take place.
Committing yourself to reframe your thoughts will redirect the course of your life. One of the ways we can use the technique of reframing the thoughts we carry around is to ask ourselves, “Are they true?” Often times our thoughts are not based on facts and are not lined up with what is true. Below are reflection questions to help you reset your mindset.
7 Steps to Resetting Your Mindset
Discover Your Current Mindset: Describe how you currently see yourself?
What words do you use to describe yourself, are they uplifting or do they lower your self-esteem?
How does this perception of yourself differ from the person you want to be?
Pinpoint Your Story? Write down a negative story you carry around in your head that is not serving you well.
What is the situation you experienced that was the basis of this story?
What are the thoughts that tend to be in a loop? (Thoughts like: “I’m not smart enough.” Or “I’m too old.”)
Determine Thoughts You Want to Control: What is a recurring thought or thoughts that you want to gain control over?
Identify Impact and Consequences: What has this story or thought cost you up to this point in your life? (Such as: “My unwillingness to take risks.”)
Get Leverage: What could that story or thought cost you moving forward if you don’t change it?
Reality Test: What have you done that helps to prove this thought or story is not true?
Reframe the Thought or Feeling: Replace the negative feeling or thought with a more positive meaning (ie. Instead of thinking I am not smart enough. “I am experiencing discomfort because I am in the process of learning something new, I am convinced it will get easier.”
The more we engage in this process of reflection, the more we begin to experience a shift in mindset. There is no shame or blame regarding the need to reset your mindset. Among all the feelings that warp our perceptions, fear is particularly devastating because it attacks not only our behavior but our identity as well. Taking time to reflect and do a little self-analysis regarding how we cope with thoughts, and the words we attach to feelings is necessary. Such reflection may make you uncomfortable, but, when we take uncomfortable action, we are enlightened and self-empowered to control our thoughts and the actions we take. Resetting your mindset requires the ability to connect with and name your true feelings, needs and desires….Name it, and Reframe It!
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” _ Maya Angelou
“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”
Dr. Myra
Dr. Myra Hubbard is available for Presentations, Conferences, Training, and Consulting engagements. She can be reached at myrahub@aol.com or 707-481-2268.
Have you ever experienced a day like this? You and your BFF (Best Friends Forever) or in this case BFFs haven’t seen each other for a couple of months. Everyone has been so busy with “life”, you know from experience that friendships can take a back seat to other priorities and commitments, such as work and family. You have been texting back and forth to keep in touch and finally schedule a face-to-face “meet-up” together. One of you identifies a movie to see, another finds an inexpensive place to eat, and the third suggests going to a coffee shop to cap off the evening.
You find a spot to chat in the coffee shop. You share pictures, update each other on what’s happening in each other’s lives and before you know it, you hear, “Excuse me ladies, we hate to interrupt, but, we are closing.” You didn’t notice, one person had a broom in his hand, they had cleaned the coffee equipment and it looked like they were finished cleaning up the entire shop. The three of you friends, Tres Amigas, were the only people left.
Networks of Support
What happened to the time? Why didn’t you notice the things happening around you? Here is my take on what was going on….
You were TAPPED IN to a key component of your Network of Support. In my TAP IN model above, the N stands for Network of Support, and SOCIAL is one of the 5 key networks to Develop, Cultivate and Maintain. It is not the quantity of friends you have in the Social network, it is the QUALITY of friendships you have in your life.
What are the benefits of friendships?
According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being and play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Individuals with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression and high blood pressure. Studies have even found that older people with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers that do not have quality friendships.
Friends can:
Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
Provide support when you try new things
Encourage you to follow your Passion and achieve your Goals
Help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times
Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
Prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship
Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
Make you laugh and encourage you to have fun
The Investment
Many of us find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up with existing ones. Developing and maintaining quality friendships takes time and effort. The enjoyment and support friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile.
As I mentioned earlier, quality counts more than quantity. While it’s good to cultivate a diverse network of people in your life, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends, amigas, who will be there for you through the test of time.
Let me hear about your supportive friendships, I am always interested in your thoughts.
“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”
You Are Here! You can go in different directions, but, which one should you take?
It’s mid-January and no doubt you have received many messages about setting goals, getting focused, pursuing your dreams, visioning, and achieving personal and financial success. Personally, I’m excited about the support systems we all have available to us and the possibilities we have moving forward in 2018. It can be overwhelming because you want to do “it” all. Everyone has something to offer, yet you need a clear practical path to make an effective empowering decision.
It is like the map in the mall that has a red dot indicating, YOU ARE HERE. You can go in many directions and each might lead to shopping bags full of bargains and attractive stuff, but, did you get what you want? Did you make a list before you entered the mall? Have you been there and done that?
I am excited to have you a part of our TAP IN community. I want to be a part of your support network in 2018, helping you to navigate the map in the mall, chunking down the “I want it all” into manageable pieces.
Starting with a VISION, here are eight (8) critical actions you can take to help your decision making:
Step 1: Clearly articulate what you want.
Step 2: Identify how you will know that you have “it”.
Step 3: Determine where, when, and whom you want “it”.
Step 4: What will happen when you get “it”?
Step 5: What resources do you currently have and need to get what you want? Such as identifying People, Organizations, Associations and Processes that resonate with you, your Values, Beliefs, and Goals.
Step 6: What stops you from having “it” now?
Step 7: What will having “it” do for you?
Step 8: What will be your first significant empowering action step to keep you on track in 2018?
Like others, we also have resources to add to your Empowerment and Personal Success toolbox to enhance your ability to create skill-building choices.
I hope you had a great holiday season. Can you believe it is now 2018? I am excited, there are so many things I want to accomplish this year and a lot I want to share with you.
It’s that time of year where we look-back and reflect on the year that just past but also look-ahead at what we want to accomplish in the new year.
As you think about what you accomplished last year, ask yourself, ‘How did I do, did I reach the goals I set for myself ‘? Making the most of this new year will require tenacity and determination. As you plan your goals for 2018, I encourage you to consider a robust focus on self-empowerment and on-going learning.
There’s no reason why this year can’t be your best year yet; make the most of it by attending our self-empowerment workshops, webinars and events designed to help you gain new knowledge and skills which in-turn help you accomplish your goals and ambitions.
Stay connected with us. Look out for my blogs, schedule of events and learn about resources throughout the year.
I wish you all the best this year. Let’s Declare 2018 the Year of Self-Empowerment!
“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.” Dr. Myra
TAP-IN® Women's Self-Empowerment and Fulfillment Institute 