Reset Your Mindset

As we spring forward again into a new season, we take time to celebrate International Women’s Day (IWD).

“My dad encouraged us to fail. Growing up, he would ask us what we failed at that week. If we didn’t have something, he would be disappointed. It changed my mindset at an early age that failure is not the outcome, failure is not trying. Don’t be afraid to fail.” __ Sara Blakely

What Are You Thinking?


We can’t live a self-empowered life if we constantly allow negative and unproductive thoughts to monopolize our thinking. Soldiers don’t look for their weapons when the bullets are flying all around them. They are prepared ahead of time and have their heads on “swivel” to anticipate what’s ahead. Self-empowerment includes putting our minds to capture and control thoughts that hold us back instead of engaging in negative thoughts. We must continually be filling our minds with things that bring light into our lives. When we look for the good, we will find it. When we focus on the bad, we will find that also. 

Reframing Negative Thoughts

What kind of reframing does your mind need?  Do you find yourself fixated on the things that are going wrong or could go wrong in your life? Do you feel overwhelmed and defeated by how you view the direction your life is taking? With all the challenging things happening to women particularly at this moment in time, it is easy to focus on the glass being half empty. 

“It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.” ― Germany Kent

Whether we usually have a positive outlook on life or we struggle holding things together every day with what our minds obsess over, we can all benefit from some guidance when it comes to our thoughts. While we will never be able to adjust every thought that enters our minds throughout the day, we can certainly work on reframing toxic thinking that is depleting our energy, causing inner turmoil, and getting in the way of us being at our best authentic self. We want to spend our mental energy on the thoughts that build us up instead of tearing us down.

What is True or False?

Many false self-perceptions and toxic thoughts are too deeply rooted to be corrected with positive self-talk alone. We must identify the falsehoods that control our thoughts in order to reset our mindsets if lasting change is to take place.

Committing yourself to reframe your thoughts will redirect the course of your life. One of the ways we can use the technique of reframing the thoughts we carry around is to ask ourselves, “Are they true?” Often times our thoughts are not based on facts and are not lined up with what is true. Below are reflection questions to help you reset your mindset.

7 Steps to Resetting Your Mindset

  1. Discover Your Current Mindset: Describe how you currently see yourself?
    • What words do you use to describe yourself, are they uplifting or do they lower your self-esteem?
    • How does this perception of yourself differ from the person you want to be?  
  2. Pinpoint Your Story? Write down a negative story you carry around in your head that is not serving you well. 
    • What is the situation you experienced that was the basis of this story?
    • What are the thoughts that tend to be in a loop? (Thoughts like: “I’m not smart enough.” Or “I’m too old.”)
  3. Determine Thoughts You Want to Control:  What is a recurring thought or thoughts that you want to gain control over?
  4. Identify Impact and Consequences:  What has this story or thought cost you up to this point in your life? (Such as: “My unwillingness to take risks.”)
  5. Get Leverage: What could that story or thought cost you moving forward if you don’t change it?
  6. Reality Test: What have you done that helps to prove this thought or story is not true?
  7. Reframe the Thought or Feeling:  Replace the negative feeling or thought with a more positive meaning (ie.  Instead of thinking I am not smart enough. “I am experiencing discomfort because I am in the process of learning something new, I am convinced it will get easier.”

The more we engage in this process of reflection, the more we begin to experience a shift in mindset. There is no shame or blame regarding the need to reset your mindset. Among all the feelings that warp our perceptions, fear is particularly devastating because it attacks not only our behavior but our identity as well. Taking time to reflect and do a little self-analysis regarding how we cope with thoughts, and the words we attach to feelings is necessary.  Such reflection may make you uncomfortable, but, when we take uncomfortable action, we are enlightened and self-empowered to control our thoughts and the actions we take. Resetting your mindset requires the ability to connect with and name your true feelings, needs and desires….Name it, and Reframe It!

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” _ Maya Angelou

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra

Dr. Myra Hubbard is available for Presentations, Conferences, Training, and Consulting engagements. She can be reached at myrahub@aol.com or 707-481-2268.



Tres Amigas (3 Friends): 10 Benefits of Investing in Friendship

 

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Have you ever experienced a day like this?  You and your BFF (Best Friends Forever) or in this case BFFs haven’t seen each other for a couple of months.  Everyone has been so busy with “life”, you know from experience that friendships can take a back seat to other priorities and commitments, such as work and family.  You have been texting back and forth to keep in touch and finally schedule a face-to-face “meet-up” together.  One of you identifies a movie to see, another finds an inexpensive place to eat, and the third suggests going to a coffee shop to cap off the evening.

You find a spot to chat in the coffee shop.  You share pictures, update each other on what’s happening in each other’s lives and before you know it, you hear, “Excuse me ladies, we hate to interrupt, but, we are closing.”  You didn’t notice, one person had a broom in his hand, they had cleaned the coffee equipment and it looked like they were finished cleaning up the entire shop. The three of you friends, Tres Amigas, were the only people left.

Networks of Support

What happened to the time?  Why didn’t you notice the things happening around you?  Here is my take on what was going on….

You were TAPPED IN to a key component of your Network of Support. In my TAP IN model above, the N stands for Network of Support, and SOCIAL is one of the 5 key networks to Develop, Cultivate and Maintain. It is not the quantity of friends you have in the Social network, it is the QUALITY of friendships you have in your life.

What are the benefits of friendships?

According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being and play a significant role in promoting your overall health. Individuals with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression and high blood pressure. Studies have even found that older people with a rich social life are likely to live longer than their peers that do not have quality friendships.

Friends can:

  1. Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
  2. Provide support when you try new things
  3. Encourage you to follow your Passion and achieve your Goals
  4. Help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times
  5. Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
  6. Prevent loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship
  7. Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
  8. Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
  9. Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
  10. Make you laugh and encourage you to have fun

 

The Investment

Many of us find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up with existing ones. Developing and maintaining quality friendships takes time and effort. The enjoyment and support friendship can provide, however, makes the investment worthwhile.

As I mentioned earlier, quality counts more than quantity. While it’s good to cultivate a diverse network of people in your life, you also want to nurture a few truly close friends, amigas, who will be there for you through the test of time.

Let me hear about your supportive friendships, I am always interested in your thoughts.

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra

 

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Navigating the Mall

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You Are Here! You can go in different directions, but, which one should you take?

It’s mid-January and no doubt you have received many messages about setting goals, getting focused, pursuing your dreams, visioning, and achieving personal and financial success.  Personally, I’m excited about the support systems we all have available to us and the possibilities we have moving forward in 2018.  It can be overwhelming because you want to do “it” all. Everyone has something to offer, yet you need a clear practical path to make an effective empowering decision.

It is like the map in the mall that has a red dot indicating, YOU ARE HERE.  You can go in many directions and each might lead to shopping bags full of bargains and attractive stuff, but, did you get what you want? Did you make a list before you entered the mall?  Have you been there and done that?

I am excited to have you a part of our TAP IN community. I want to be a part of your support network in 2018, helping you to navigate the map in the mall, chunking down the “I want it all” into manageable pieces.

Starting with a VISION, here are eight (8) critical actions you can take to help your decision making:

Step 1:  Clearly articulate what you want.

Step 2: Identify how you will know that you have “it”.

Step 3: Determine where, when, and whom you want “it”.

Step 4:  What will happen when you get “it”?

Step 5:  What resources do you currently have and need to get what you want? Such as identifying People, Organizations, Associations and Processes that resonate with you, your Values, Beliefs, and Goals.

Step 6: What stops you from having “it” now?

Step 7: What will having “it” do for you?

Step 8:  What will be your first significant empowering action step to keep you on track in 2018?

Like others, we also have resources to add to your Empowerment and Personal Success toolbox to enhance your ability to create skill-building choices.

Click here to view upcoming events

https://attendee.gototraining.com/5975q/catalog/8500138956696509696

Let me hear from you, I am always interested in your thoughts.

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”

Dr. Myra

Happy New Year!

 

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Happy New Year My TAP IN Friends!

I hope you had a great holiday season.  Can you believe it is now 2018? I am excited, there are so many things I want to accomplish this year and a lot I want to share with you.

It’s that time of year where we look-back and reflect on the year that just past but also look-ahead at what we want to accomplish in the new year.

As you think about what you accomplished last year, ask yourself, ‘How did I do, did I reach the goals I set for myself ‘? Making the most of this new year will require tenacity and determination. As you plan your goals for 2018, I encourage you to consider a robust focus on self-empowerment and on-going learning.

There’s no reason why this year can’t be your best year yet; make the most of it by attending our self-empowerment workshops, webinars and events designed to help you gain new knowledge and skills which in-turn help you accomplish your goals and ambitions.

Stay connected with us.  Look out for my blogs, schedule of events and learn about resources throughout the year.

I wish you all the best this year.  Let’s Declare 2018 the Year of Self-Empowerment!

“Stay Tapped In to the wonderful things life has to offer.”   Dr. Myra